


still yours

by fauu_stine



Series: social media AUs [6]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: (but not Evak ofc), Cabin trip, Divorce, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Getting Back Together, I swear, Lots of it, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up, Sexual Tension, Social Media AU, Winter/Christmas vibe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 84
Words: 11,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27955979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fauu_stine/pseuds/fauu_stine
Summary: Even loves his job and his friends. Life is good. And sure, he might have lost the love of his life three years ago, but he's over it. So over it that Isak barging into his life again does nothing to him. At all.(Lies!)OR: a post-break up AU
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen
Series: social media AUs [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1919482
Comments: 168
Kudos: 380





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Halla!
> 
> You probably know the usual blabla but for the newbies: my social media AUs are basically lots of groupchats conversations, some Instagram/Twitter content, and of course a bunch of written parts. This one is completed but be patient with me, since ao3 doesn't allow me to upload pictures directly from my computer, it's a bit of a handy work to get everything in order. I should be able to update a few times every day.
> 
> This is my 6th AU and contrary to the others, this is not a repost, or not exactly, since I'm currently writing it! But I figured I could just post it on ao3 more or less at the time I'm posting it on Twitter, so I don't have to do it in one go at the end. Which means I can't promise the updates are going to be daily. You're free to join the journey or to wait for the whole thing to be over :)
> 
> I know post break-up AUs are supposed to be super angsty but I wouldn't say mine is. There is some angst, but also lots of fluff coming, and funny moments (or I hope so!), with heart-warming friendships and oblivious Evak flirting while their friends make fun of them. Just trust me on this one? It's almost Christmas, and the end of this shitty year, so I'm trying to make it as fluffly as possible. Hope you can enjoy it! ❤️


	2. Chapter 2




	3. Chapter 3




	4. Chapter 4




	5. Chapter 5




	6. Chapter 6




	7. Chapter 7

Being surrounded by loyal friends isn't something Even takes for granted.

A decade ago, he had a group of friends who were like family to him, but some unfortunate events led to him losing them. As they reunited later on, he had to admit that it's never been quite the same again - with a few exceptions, like Mutta, who's grown to be one of his closest friends along the years.

It hadn't really bothered him back then, because he had someone he loved deeply by his side - he had Isak - and he had Isak's friends who became his friends as well. But a couple of years ago, life showed him once again that few good things are permanent, especially when it comes to love, and he lost Isak, too. 

There is nothing sadder than a break-up where the two people involved still undeniably love each other. Yet, when the timing is wrong, there is nothing they can do about it without sacrificing who they are as a person. And if there is something Isak and he have always promised to each other, it's to never waste who they are in order to stay together. So Isak left to study biochemistry in Denmark, and for a while they went long-distance, until it stopped working, until it became too painful for the both of them. They knew after Isak's Master degree, there would be a PhD, still in Copenhagen; they knew Even started working as an Art Teacher, which he adored, and therefore would remain in Norway. They knew it wasn't a right time for them to be together anymore, no matter how much they still loved each other.

So they decided to part ways, for both of their sake.

At least, as a small comfort who's grown to become a huge relief for Even, he didn't lose the friends they had in common… Quite the contrary. With a broken heart, Eskild and Linn, joined shortly afterwards by Noora, took him in. They made a place for him in the Kollektivet, but more importantly, in their hearts, an even bigger place than what used to be.

It's been that way for almost three years now and Even doesn't know how he would have survived losing Isak if it hadn't been for them. 

Now that Noora is going through an actual divorce from William, Even wants to give back as much as he can. And he thinks he hasn't been so bad at it so far. Over a year ago, Noora left London (again) to get away from her crumbling marriage with William and found shelter at the Kollektivet. Eskild had recently moved in with his now ex-boyfriend (it didn't last more than a month but Eskild never moved back in the Kollektivet, although he still acted like he lived there) so Noora's break from London and William turned into a permanent stay, followed by a divorce application. Even if Eskild was (and still is) often around, Even became Noora's confident, too. 

Even loved the Kollektivet for this very reason. He loved that they were like an adoptive family for the good times as much as the bad times. Even had a glimpse of it through Isak's life and his own episode when they first started seeing each other, many years ago: he knew everything Eskild, mostly, but also the girls, did for Isak and for himself, too. However, it's only after Even moved in and got to be an official part of the Kollektivet that he really saw the full expense of what they were for each other. 

They supported each other through everything. Through Linn deciding to get help, quite successfully, as she had now found an equilibrium that worked for her; working from home as a web developer while making herself get up and shower and eat everyday no matter what, and if not, having reach the agreement that she would talk to them and ask for help. Through Eskild taking an important step by leaving the Kollektivet to build something with someone else; even if it failed, it didn't matter, at least he did it, and now he was learning how to live by himself (most of the time). Through Even losing who he's always thought was the man of his life and spending months working on getting over him. And finally, through Noora having to admit to herself there was no point in fighting for a relationship that hurt more than healed her soul, and so putting an end to it, once and for all.

They're all settled on the couch, Noora lying between them, feet on Even's lap and head resting on Linn's lap, who's brushing her fingers through Noora's blond hair; waiting for Eskild to show up at any time now. He didn't text them, he never does, but they know he will come with a plan. 

So, as they wait, they talk about everything but Noora signing her divorce application earlier this afternoon. They talk about Even's students calling him their favorite teacher and how he teared up at their kind words. Or they talk about Linn's new project for one of her employers who might be a future porncam website - she isn't sure.

"Linn! You need to ask them what their website is going to be used for!" Noora says, outraged.

Linn shrugs, unfazed. "I don't know. I like the mystery."

"Please, make sure it isn't illegal, at the very least," Even chuckles despite his best judgement.

Until, finally, the doorbell of their apartment rings, loud and uninterrupted, announcing Eskild's arrival.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Linn suggests, which is what always decides on who's going to stand up and welcome Eskild in. A game Even happens to be terrible at.

"3, 2, 1…" They show their hand: Even's paper, Noora's and Linn's scissors. With no surprise, Even loses.

"Damn it! Why do I always lose at this stupid game?"

"You always play paper first," Linn says casually.

"What?"

"That's true. Paper. Always, paper," Noora confirms.

"Damn it."

Even stands up, cursing himself for being so predictable without even being aware of it. Paper. What kind of cliché artist move is it?

He lets Eskild in and walks back to the couch. Noora laughs at his pouting face and Linn pats his hair softly in comfort.

Seconds later, Eskild's steps are echoing in the hallway. Then, the front door flies open.

"¡Hola!" Eskild greets them loudly, stumbling inside the apartment like a man on a mission. 

A quick look at him is enough to indicate that he didn't dress up for a casual pyjamas party at the Kollektivet. 

"We are going out tonight!" They sink a little deeper into the couch. A collective groan later, Eskild keeps going. "Come on, get up y'all! I'm taking you to the restaurant!

"Does it mean you're paying?" Linn asks, slightly more interested at the prospect of a free meal.

"Not a chance, my dear," Eskild retorts with a wide, wry smile. Then he focuses his attention back on Noora. "Go show the world how you need no man to be a successful woman!"

She huffs but eventually breaks into a smile. "You're ridiculous.  _ Fine _ , if it makes you happy. Let's go out. But no bar and no nightclub!"

"I promise," Eskild nods.

Even exchanges a glance with both Noora and Linn: they all know in such circumstances Eskild's word means little.

"And you!" Eskild calls after Even this time. "I need you by my side, always. Come on, handsome! You can pick the restaurant, we both know you have exquisite taste!"

"Look who's sweet-talking who now!" Even chuckles, but goes along with it anyway, getting up from the couch. 

It doesn't sound like such a bad idea, as long as Noora is on board with Eskild's plan. And as long as they are all together, supporting each other, it's always worth it.


	8. Chapter 8




	9. Chapter 9




	10. Chapter 10




	11. Chapter 11




	12. Chapter 12




	13. Chapter 13




	14. Chapter 14




	15. Chapter 15




	16. Chapter 16




	17. Chapter 17




	18. Chapter 18




	19. Chapter 19

They spent their first morning and the beginning of the afternoon outside, skiing (for Even, Noora, Mutta) and fighting in the snow (mostly Eskild attacking Linn, although Even came to the rescue). By mid-afternoon the sun is already fading through the trees of the forest surrounding them, so they decide to make their way home, eager for a relaxing break and a hot beverage.

As it's been the case for most of the day, Noora and Mutta are leading the way. Eskild and he made sure that the two of them spent as much time as possible together, even when they were all around. Even has no idea whether they are being subtle or not; what matters is that so far, it's been quite a success. 

Not to mention Mutta left their room last night, for at least a couple of hours. When Even got a minute alone with Eskild the next morning, Eskild admitted that, "as a responsible guru", he left his bed a few times during the night and wandered in the hallway, until he happened to see a glimpse of Noora and Mutasim having a face to face conversation on the couch of the living area. 

They may or may not have high-fived each other at the news.

Honestly, considering he's a grown-ass adult, Even knows he's getting too invested in his friends' love life. He should focus on his own, or rather his lack of. But that's also a problem he isn't ready to tackle, so in the meantime, he will team up with Eskild to play matchmaker.

"Finally!" Linn groans beside him as they can finally see the cabin. Even chuckles and wraps an arm around her shoulders.

"Exhausted?" He teases her. She glares at him as an answer. 

"Uh, guys? There is a car parked next to ours, was anyone supposed to join us?" Mutta asks over his shoulder.

"And I think there is a man, too," Noora adds.

And that's how their chill cabin trip between friends turns into a real life horror movie. Even loves movies, and maybe sometimes he wishes his life was more like one, but definitely not that kind of movie. There is snow everywhere, goddamnit! If anything, it should be a Christmas movie.

"I have no idea who that is," Eskild defends himself once he realizes everybody is looking at him. Inviting random people is usually his thing, but he sounds genuine enough.

"Maybe they just got lost," Even says, although he starts to walk a bit faster to catch up on Noora and Mutasim, and to not leave them alone with this unexpected situation.

They reach the car before the front door of the house, so they make a quick pause when Mutta starts inspecting the vehicle.

"This is a rental car," Mutta comments, pointing at a sticker in the corner of the car windscreen.

Even doesn't know what to make of this information, so he calls too softly, "Hello?", before they walk around the cabin, heading for the front door this time.

There is a man, Noora is right. He's standing in front of one of the windows, peeking inside. He has his back turned on them, so they can't see his face just yet. Even's body freezes nonetheless. 

There is no way Even wouldn't recognize this man. It doesn't matter if it's been almost three years since the last time they saw each other.

There isn't a single universe where Even Bech Næsheim doesn't recognize Isak Valtersen at the first glance. 

"Isak?" 

The collective gasp of his friends suggest they hadn't realized who the stranger is. But now they know.

"Oh, hey, hi!" Isak turns around in surprise. "I was starting to think I had the wrong address."

"ISAK!" Eskild starts yelling as he runs to trap him between his arms. Isak laughs and the sound seems to echo throughout the forest around them. Even's heart gives a squeeze inside his chest.

"Isak! What are you doing here?" Noora joins, throwing her hands in the air, happy but disconcerted. "Aren't you supposed to be in Copenhagen?"

"Well, I felt like paying Oslo a visit."

Still holding him firmly in his arms, Eskild seems on the edge of crying. "My baby gay! My prodigy son! He's finally home!"

"Eskild, I'm not coming back from war," Isak rolls his eyes, and that, too, feels so familiar it hurts a little. "Let go of me, I need to breathe!"

Eskild frees him, but soon after Isak is hugging Noora, and then Linn. Mutasim takes a few steps to shake hands with him, greeting him very politely, which after that leaves only Even.

"Halla," Isak offers him a small but gentle grin. They keep their distance, but it feels neither awkward nor cold. Only respectful and tentative. "Even." A shiver runs down his spine. The cold, obviously. "Nice to see you again."

"Hi," Even thinks he greets him in return. Maybe he even manages a smile. "Welcome back."

Three years. He hasn't seen his ex-boyfriend in three years and now here he is, standing on the doorstep of a cabin in the middle of the woods.

It does nothing to him. Nothing. At all.


	20. Chapter 20




	21. Chapter 21




	22. Chapter 22




	23. Chapter 23




	24. Chapter 24

As if the hours spent in the snow today hadn't been enough, they decide to take advantage of the last rays of sunshine by settling outside around a fire. They find themselves roasting marshmallows while drinking a dubious mixture concocted by Eskild: hot chocolate with whiskey. 

Even, Noora and Mutasim got rid of it as soon as Eskild has been too busy to notice, but they aren't safe. Eskild has been adding some more whiskey to every half-empty cup.

"So, Isak, tell us to what do we owe the honor of your visit? Are you done curing cancer? Are you running for the next Novel Price?" Eskild asks at some point with his usual exuberance, leaning against Isak and grinning wide at him. He's obviously tipsy.

For a brief second, Even thinks he recognizes Isak's trademark death stare addressed to Eskild, but he doesn't understand the reason for it, and a moment later it's gone anyway.

"Let me get through my PhD first," Isak chuckles.

"How is it going by the way?" Noora intervenes.

The words that come out of Isak's mouth afterwards sound familiar enough, but all put together, Even wouldn't know what it means. It's nothing uncommon though, for he has spent countless hours in the past listening to Isak talk about serums and proteins and antigens, things he could rarely grasp the implications of. And yet, it never stopped him from listening to him.

At some point, Isak stops talking and looks down, biting his lower lip nervously, the way Even remembers him doing so every time he got carried away and then felt embarrassed. Isak has always been convinced no one cared about what he found absolutely fascinating. Even now, he doesn't seem to realize they all admire him for his scientific genius.

"That sounds very interesting," Even says and he hopes he sounds genuine, because he means it, even if he doesn't understand much of it.

All at once, eyes turn to him, staring at him expectantly. Even ignores them except Isak's, who looked up at him the second he spoke. 

"Yeah," Isak nods after a short pause, a shy smile on his lips. "I really like it."

Even smiles back, like a Pavlovian reflex. "That's great. That's the most important."

"So what are you doing here?" Linn interrupts them, or at least it feels like it. Even almost forgot they weren't alone.

Isak huffs at her bluntness, but he's used to it, so he doesn't seem the least offended. "I needed a break from… From everything, I guess. I can work on some parts of my thesis from anywhere as long as I have my computer so it's no big deal. I felt like paying Oslo a visit," he explains. "And if Eskild didn't broadcast the news already, which I doubt, yes, maybe I recently broke up with the guy I was living with, hence the much appreciated change of scenery."

"Me? You think I would gossip like that?" Eskild gasps.

"Yes," they collectively deadpan, and then move on.

"And do you know how long you're staying in Oslo?" Noora continues with the questions, thankfully not lingering on Isak's break up. Isak shrugs in answer. "And where are you staying? At your parents'?" 

Even keeps his mouth shut but he doubts Isak has any plan to stay at neither his father's place nor his mother's, even though his relationship with them have improved since high school. 

"I actually came straight from the airport, I don't know where I'm staying," Isak snorts at his own recklessness. "I guess I will call them tomorrow," he says, but without any conviction.

"Oh, but you're welcome to crash at my place! Please! It will be like old times!" Eskild exclaims excitedly. "My baby gay roommate is back!"

"I'm not-"

"Yeah, yeah. No baby anymore," Eskild lets out a long, painful sigh, like a mother having to accept how much his child has grown up would.

"Anyway," Isak rolls his eyes. "Unless I misunderstood the situation, you're living together at the Kollektivet?" He waves at Noora, Linn and Even, before his gaze settles on him in particular. "What's the story?"

"Even got dumped and we picked up the pieces."

"Eskild! Shut up!" Noora yelps. Next to her, Mutasim looks strangely fascinated by her sudden authoritative voice. Meanwhile, Linn keeps eating marshmallows, unbothered, and Even is left slightly embarrassed by the turn of events.

"No one dumped anyone," Even retorts. It's been three years. He can be an adult about it. He can talk about it with his ex-boyfriend in a very adult way. He can. "We both decided to break up," he rectifies.

"I remember," Isak nods, amused.  _ Right _ . It's not like he forgot. "You didn't keep our apartment?" 

_ Our _ . There used to be an "our" between them. Even knows that, but it's still strange to be reminded of it after all this time, and most of all, to talk about it with Isak, of all people. "No, I decided to move out. It was…"  _ Too painful _ . "Too expensive. I crashed at the Kollektivet for a while and… I never left. It just kind of happened."

"Well, it's how the Kollektivet works," Isak points out playfully. He's right, and they know it, and they feel it, as they exchange knowing looks - Eskild, Linn, Noora, Isak and Even. "It's nice you… Well, it's very nice to know. Did you take over my- I mean, not exactly  _ my  _ room, but the room I used to have?"

Even doesn't know how Isak does it. He seems so casual about the whole thing; if they were in the opposite situation, Even doesn't know if he would be able to discuss so easily his ex moving in with those who were his friends and roommates first, to talk about the room where he used to live, where they've both lived for a few months as a couple, at the very beginning of their relationship. It feels so unreal...

But he also doesn't want things to be awkward between them. He wants to be able to have normal conversation with Isak, because he didn't just love him once, he loved his company, too. And maybe he can still have that, if nothing else. "Actually, no. I took Eskild's room." Even doesn't say anything more. He thinks,  _ your old room held too many memories of us together,  _ and although it remains a thought, as they're looking at each other, Even has the feeling Isak knows. He doesn't need to say it out loud, because Isak understands it anyway. 

"Makes sense," Isak whispers back. 

They share a small, secret smile in understanding.

"Alright!" Eskild's voice breaks the silence. They remember, for the second time, that they aren't alone. "We need to buy more alcohol for this. Come on! It's time for a shopping trip!"

"Why? We still have-" Noora starts to protest, which is a mistake, because Eskild grabs the whiskey and empties the bottle into Noora's and Isak's cups.

"Oh my God. Stop pouring whisky in hot chocolate, it's disgusting!"

In the end, they ban Eskild's beverage for good but agree on a shopping trip. Even doesn't drink much anymore, but even he feels like he's going to need alcohol to survive the rest of the week-end…


	25. Chapter 25




	26. Chapter 26




	27. Chapter 27




	28. Chapter 28

Even should have seen it coming.

After dinner, they decided they needed to enjoy the warmth coming from the fireplace, because it was freezing outside and what else should they do when they were staying in a cabin surrounded by snow? To make it even more cliché, they needed more hot chocolate; but the fact Eskild, Linn, Isak and Even ended up in the kitchen while Noora and Mutasim were left alone in front of the fire had more to do with their matchmaking plan. That is, until Eskild and Linn announced Isak and him were responsible for the hot chocolate. 

Even doesn't have time to turn around and silently protest against the decision that his two friends are already out of the kitchen. He glances at Isak, sees he's rolling his eyes at the obvious set-up, but he doesn't seem bothered. Even isn't sure what he feels about that.

Then, Isak's next words take him completely off-guard, "remember the last time we were here together?"

He remembers. Of course he does, it was their last trip together before everything went wrong. Before Isak flyed back to Copenhagen after the Christmas break and they broke up a couple of months later. The last time they were happy together. The last time they saw each other in person. Or that is, until now. 

"Sure," Even shrugs, avoiding Isak's gaze as he opens the cupboards, looking for mugs.

"It's on the right. No, next right," Isak guides him. 

Even finds the mugs and huffs. "You remember where everything is?" 

"Well, we did spend a lot of time in this kitchen, with Eskild always leaving us to deal with breakfast, with lunch, with dinner… While he was getting laid." Even smiles at the memory. It's been a weird trip, a 'couple' trip with Eskild and his boyfriend, the one he moved in with and broke up with soon after. "What was his name again?"

"Eskild's boyfriend? It was Oskar." Pretty nice guy. Quiet but nice. Even still doesn't know how Eskild and him ended up together in the first place.

"Oh, yeah. Oskar," Isak snorts. "He hated me."

"What?!" Even chuckles. "No way, Oskar didn't hate anyone!"

"He did! He hated me. And he had a crush on you, I'm sure of it."

"What?!" Even repeats, torn between bewilderment and a barely containable need to laugh.

"He always had his eyes on you," Isak explains, all while successively grabbing the milk, the cocoa and a saucepan. Then he puts everything down next to the stove. 

As a reflex, Even joins him, taking charge from there. Boiling milk safely is his speciality, not Isak's. "It sounds like  _ you _ hated Oskar."

"Of course I did! You know how jealous I can be." Even wants to say he doesn't know anymore but thankfully, the words don't come out of his mouth. "No one was allowed to stare at your ass except me," Isak adds, and it almost kills Even for good. 

"Isak," he chokes out, then breaks into laughter when Isak does. This conversation is getting out of hand. Are you supposed to talk about old jealousy and your own ass with your ex-boyfriend? "I recall you were pretty possessive over my ass," he hears himself joke nonetheless, and he's mortified by his own words, yet he can't bring himself to regret them.

Not when Isak keeps giggling, and leaning so close to him his cheek is almost brushing against Even's shoulder. Even's heart is threatening to burst out of his chest from such a simple proximity, and from the sound of Isak's laugh ringing into his ears, real and clear, and not just a phantom memory anymore.

"I was," Isak admits, smirking at him in his trademark way - both sweet and teasing. "We had a special connexion and all that." 

"Oh my God. You didn't just say that about you and my ass out loud."

"Sorry." Isak looks anything but sorry. "But that's the truth, and I know Oskar was actually trying to get in your pants."

"And I thought you missed me back then! When in reality you were all over me because you were trying to mark your territory!" Even protests in a very Eskild-like dramatic voice.

"Oh, but I did miss you, too," Isak says, and it doesn't sound like bantering anymore. Even's throat feels tight, and he doesn't know what to say anymore, or what to feel either. 

"Careful!" Isak exclaims all of sudden. His hand flies between them and lands on top of Even's, squeezing it tightly as he lifts the pot of milk that was about to boil over. With his other hand, he lowers the gas. "Someone's distracted," he teases, and he has the nerves to wink at Even, a breath away from his face, bodies very much touching now.

Even knows he should get his body to take a step back but his brain is no longer responding.

"Are you alright?" Isak asks, way too close. And for a millisecond, Even feels like he's having a heart attack, because his mind is playing tricks on him, because he thinks he just saw Isak staring at his lips. But it can't be, it ain't real, and it's already gone by the time their eyes meet again. 

"Yes, I'm good," Even mutters and finally pulls back, turning away to go pick the mugs up from the other counter. 

For a while, they work in silence and Even almost wishes he could say the air between them is heavy and awkward, but he knows it's only in his head, because whenever he looks up at Isak, he seems relaxed, smiling at him casually. 

"Do you need help?" Mutasim calls from the living-room, seemingly the only one not aware of what the others are trying to do. Even has always known Mutta was his true and only friend.

They put the mugs filled with hot chocolate and marshmallows on a tray and Isak takes it before Even has time to move first.

"By the way," Isak breaks the silence, his voice soft, all traces of teasing gone. "I know we were mostly joking before, but… I think you and I, we did have something special, like…"

"A natural connexion?" Even suggests, then curses himself for opening his mouth without thinking twice about his words. Way to look desperate in front of your ex!

But Isak seems to agree with what he said. "Exactly! A natural connexion. We got along and we had fun, right? No matter what. And I just wanted to say… I'm glad we still have that."

Isak grins at him again, warm and gentle and with something unreadable Even doesn't dare to put a name on. 

Then he walks away with the tray, leaving Even's flushed and breathless, and that's when they both realize Mutasim is standing in the doorway of the kitchen. They both freeze, as if Mutta just caught them making out, except maybe Isak's words are much more intimate than any physical interactions could ever be. Eventually, Mutta steps aside, and Isak flees the scene. 

Mutta's jaded expression is enough to make Even want to disappear. So much for acting all indifferent to his ex-boyfriend's presence. 


	29. Chapter 29




	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for disappearing on you and on this story! I'm lacking inspiration to write it, but since it's the first day of Winter and this is kinda a Winter/Christmas vibe AU, I felt like I should offer you a few updates.
> 
> I'm not giving up on it, I can't leave it unfinished, especially not with Evak broken up! But bear with me, I will need time... 
> 
> In the meantime, I hope you can enjoy the rest of their cabin trip! ❤️


	31. Chapter 31

They are sitting in front of the fire, taking sips on their hot chocolate, when Noora starts speaking about William for the first time since she signed the papers. Slightly taken aback but also relieved this is finally happening, they remain quiet, listening to her carefully.

"You know, before William, I've always thought I knew who I was, even if I was 16 and objectively didn't know anything. Being with him has been a constant rethinking of my identity. Both in a good and a bad way, depending on where I stood in other aspects of my life. Don't mind me, it's been great for a long time, it helped me become the person I am today and I like many things about myself that I think wouldn't be without him. But at some point, I stopped liking the person I was with him. I definitely stopped liking myself with him before I fell out of love with him," she says, staring at the dancing flames in the fireplace in front of her. 

"That's why I left, again, but spent months pretending we would find our way back to each other, like it happened before. But I reinvented myself in the meantime, and I couldn't picture us together any longer. Do you see what I mean? Does that make any sense?"

"Honestly, I've never been with anyone long enough to feel like being with them changed who I was. Or maybe I didn't care about them enough, but either way… Not really," Eskild admits. "But maybe Even and Isak do?"

"That's true. You two were high school sweethearts, too," Linn points out. "And then you became this badass unbreakable couple after school."

Even blushes. He wants to disappear into the couch. After what happened in the kitchen, he really doesn't feel like discussing his past relationship with Isak. Not when Mutta is watching him so carefully, tracking his every reaction, and especially not when Isak is right there with them.

But he also wants to help Noora the best he can, so he ends up, once again, caught in an uncomfortable dilemma. 

"I don't know," Even mutters eventually. "I never really thought about it. If at some point I didn't like myself, it had nothing to do with Isak. On the contrary."

Isak is looking at him, Even can feel it, but he makes it a point not to meet his eyes. 

Truth to be told, Even wants to tell them that, before meeting Isak, it's been a while since he knew who he was. He lost his identity when he became his illness, or at least that's how he felt back then, and it's Isak who showed him that it didn't have to be that way, that he was and could be so much more. And after losing him, he spent months feeling like he didn't know how and who to be anymore. He's grown from it, he learnt how to be by himself again, which has been a great thing too. 

At some point, losing Isak became both the best and the worst thing that ever happened to him.

"I think the best version of myself was when I was with Even," Isak speaks all of sudden, and Even's body tenses at his words. There is a heavy weight sitting on his heart and on his chest, and it's almost hard for him to breathe properly because of it. "Before we met, I was fake. I only learnt how to be real and therefore to be truly happy, by being with him. But it didn't feel like I lost myself in him or anything like that. I was Isak, and I was also Isak with Even; both worked."

"You talk like it's only ever been happiness and love," Noora whispers. And Even doesn't want to hear Isak's answer, he knows it would hurt either way. Thankfully, she continues. "I mean, I've never known happiness the way I did with William, but I've also never known pain like I did with him, too. So… Maybe that's how it's supposed to be. Love must hurt sometimes in order to be good."

"That's bullshit," Linn intervenes. "It sounds like you're romanticizing unhealthy relationships."

"I have to agree with Linn," Isak says. "This is what happens in movies but that's not what real life is about. I actually think established relationships should be comfortable, even if for some people it seems lowkey boring, but not hurtful."

"Right," Linn nods. "Like what you had with Even."

What. The. Hell. 

This time, Even can't hold back the dark look he gives Linn. What is she trying to do? Do they really need to use them as an example every time? They broke up; they are no perfect example.

Linn shrugs, and for a fleeting second, it almost looks like she's smirking.

"Yeah, hm… Like what we had," Isak mumbles.

"But it can't be happiness and love all the time," Noora argues again. It sounds like a mantra she's spent months, probably years, trying to believe in.

Even doesn't want to say it out loud but he thinks - he believes, actually - that Isak and him have always been happy together. Even would get depressed, he would be worried about failing to keep control and not being reliable enough to be a teacher; Isak would get frustrated by his parents, he would blame himself for his past actions and he would stress over his studies… They could get individually unhappy, but together, as one boy in love with another boy, they were always happy being with each other.

He doesn't think it's going to help Noora though. If the kind of bittersweet relationship she had with William is all she knows, surely no words can erase years of such experience.

"You deserve the kind of love that doesn't hurt," Even tells her, and it's cringy, and probably cliché, but he believes it to be true. 

Once upon a time, he thought love stories, in order to be epic, needed to be tragic. But he doesn't think that way anymore.

Tragic, it's been losing Isak. And what happens after 'tragic'? Nothing. Nothing but regrets. So now, Even wants comfortable, and lowkey boring; he's more than fine with it.

Noora looks at him, thoughtful, until finally, she smiles mildly at him, nodding in agreement.

They all deserve the kind of love that doesn't hurt.


	32. Chapter 32




	33. Chapter 33




	34. Chapter 34




	35. Chapter 35

Even knows it won't help his case, the fact he's coming back (very) early from their last day of skiing, knowing Isak and Linn stayed behind at the cabin because neither of them are into it and they would rather chill in front of the fireplace than spend hours falling on their asses (Isak's words, to be exact). 

But it doesn't mean he's coming back to hang out with Isak specifically. Not at all.

"What are you doing here?" Linn asks the second he steps inside the cabin, and her smirk is clearly saying, _you came back for Isak, you can't fool me_. 

"I'm tired," he shrugs.

Isak narrows his eyes. He isn't buying his explanation either. 

Time for a change of tactics. "I felt like ice skating. Linn, you love ice skating, right?" He suggests, and he's quite satisfied by his diversion. 

"You know it." Linn really does love it, and she would never turn down such an opportunity. She gets dressed and disappears outside within minutes, leaving Isak and him alone together.

On the couch, Isak is looking back at him with a suspicious look on his face, wrapped in a blanket, holding a book in his hands. The sight takes Even back years ago, in similar situations where he would come home to find Isak studying on their couch, Even's favorite blanket sitting on his shoulders. Except, unlike today, he would join him and cuddle him until Isak felt warm and comfortable again between his arms. 

"Ice skating," Isak says, snapping him out of his thoughts. "I will watch you two from here, okay? So I can call the emergency faster when one of you breaks their leg after falling on the ice."

Even snorts. "Right, I almost forgot how much you suck at skiing _and_ ice skating." Obviously, he didn't forget - he could never. And if he suggested ice skating on purpose, no one needs to know.

"Excuse me?!" Isak takes offense, like Even knew he would. He gets up from the couch, leaving the blanket and the book behind, and walks to close the distance between them. "I'll have you know I became quite good at it."

"Oh, really?"

"Yup. Maybe you don't know me that well anymore, Even Bech Næsheim," he retorts, but it doesn't sound mean, it sounds like a challenge, as if Isak is telling him: try and find out, try and prove me wrong.

Even smiles, takes another step closer to him. He didn't forget what happened in the kitchen last night. Maybe today is his turn to tease. "I think I still know you better than you know yourself, Isak Valtersen." He watches Isak swallowing slowly, nervously, as they stare inside each other's eyes so intensely it's like they are trying to read their respective souls. "And I bet you want to show me your new skills," he adds in a murmur.

Isak's cheeks are flushed, Even realizes, and he doesn't think it has anything to do with the heat coming from the fireplace. "Okay. I will," Isak mutters eventually, voice low and croaky.

Even raises an eyebrow and smiles. _Gotcha_. "Okay, then. I'm watching you."

*

It turns out, Isak still sucks at ice skating; meaning, just like they used to years ago, Isak has to hold on Even's body as if his entire life depends on it in order to stay balanced on his own two skates. Even doesn't have an arm wrapped around Isak's waist, but it's a near thing. At some point, he had to help Isak in return, and so he ended up taking Isak's wrist in his hand while his other gripped the back of Isak's coat to hold him back in case he fell. 

Judging by Linn knowing looks, everything that is currently happening will be repeated to Eskild as soon as he gets back. But Even knows he can only blame himself for that: he assumed it would happen, and he went for it anyway. 

He wanted it to happen.

"Great skills you learnt while you were in Denmark," Even teases, so he doesn't have to focus too much on Isak's body pressed against his own, or on the feeling of Isak's pulse beating under his fingertips where his sleeve is rolled up, exposing the tender skin of his wrist. 

"Fuck off," Isak groans. "Human beings aren't meant to be on ice."

"Well, they aren't meant to fly either, and yet…" 

Isak rolls his eyes while his mouth curves into a fond smile, and something inside Even is melting, he swears he can feel it. "And what about you? Did you learn to be a smartass from your kids?"

"My kids?" Even laughs.

"Yeah. Your students. Your little monsters. Whatever," Isak chuckles. They stopped sliding on the ice at some point, and now they are just standing, but still very much touching, almost face to face, a breath away from one another. "How is it going by the way? Do you still love teaching?"

"I do, I really do," Even says and Isak smiles at him in return. When they broke up, two things worked against them: Isak's studies and Even's career. The same way Even has never felt anything but admiration and pride for Isak's dedication to his academic success, he's glad to see Isak doesn't seem to resent him for holding on to his job, to the opportunity to prove himself capable of supporting and inspiring his students. 

"The little monsters are lucky to have you."

"I'm just their art teacher. Most of them don't even care, they think it's like a break from real courses."

"I don't think so," Isak shakes his head, voice soft. "I think you're giving them a safe place, somewhere they can be themselves, and create, or not create, but at least they aren't being judged or told they aren't good enough. I know you and I know you're being kind to them no matter what. You're teaching them more than art: you're teaching them how to be resilient, to be inventive, to be humble, just like you, and that's the best qualities they could ever learn."

Isak is looking at him, genuine and vulnerable, and Even is looking back, filled with wonder and adoration. In this exact moment, there is nothing on Earth he desires more than to be allowed to lean and to steal a kiss from Isak's inviting lips. Nothing. They are so close, it wouldn't take much.

"Hey! They are finally back!" Linn calls from somewhere on the ice. 

Startled, Isak breaks eye contact and looks away, searching for their friends. Even follows his gaze, albeit reluctantly. In the distance, he notices Mutta, Noora and Eskild coming back from skiing. If he can see them, surely they can too: Linn won't have to say anything to Eskild, or anyone for that matter.

He's screwed. And not because he doesn't want to face more teasing or more warnings coming from his friends, but because they are right. They were right from the start. He can't lie about it anymore. The truth is, he hasn't moved on.

He's still very much into Isak.


	36. Chapter 36




	37. Chapter 37




	38. Chapter 38




	39. Chapter 39

**_A couple of weeks after they are back in Oslo._ **


	40. Chapter 40




	41. Chapter 41




	42. Chapter 42




	43. Chapter 43




	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! May 2021 be safer and kinder to us. ❤️


	45. Chapter 45

Even barely has a foot inside Mutasim's fancy law firm before he ends up face to face with Sonja.

_ Of fucking course. _

It's not that he has issues with her. He doesn't. When they were teenagers, they dated for about four years, it was fun, then it wasn't anymore, and Even met the love of his life, Isak, and it was about that. His break up with Sonja has been messy but they talked it out eventually, and they kept in touch over the years. They are… on friendly terms, sort of. And since Mutta and her are working in the same field, he gets to hear a lot about her.

But there is something, not even ten years later, Even can't get rid of; it's how insecure Sonja tends to make him feel. Everytime she asks about his life, about his studies and then about his job, about his love life post-Isak, Even always feels like he needs to prove something to her. He can't help it. Sonja is successful in every way: she's confident, she has a prestigious career, she's been married for years and she's about to have her first child. Even with an eight months belly, she looks stunning  _ and  _ professional. Sonja succeeds at everything she does.

In comparison, Even can't help but feel like he's been failing at life, especially since his break-up with Isak.

Entirely since his break-up with him, to be honest.

Which is why it's even more painful when he runs into Sonja and she proceeds to... congratulate him on getting back with Isak?

"Oh, Even! What a pleasant surprise! How are you doing?" Sonja exclaims as soon as he steps out of the elevator. He can't even try to sneak away.

"I'm fine, what about you? What are you still doing- I mean, I thought you would- Ugh."

She smirks at his awkwardness. "I'm too bored at home, so I figured I would stop by to help. Or, you know, to make sure our interns aren't slacking off. Mutta is too soft with them." Even doesn't comment, but silently feels sorry for them. "What are  _ you _ doing here? It's too early for lunch. Aren't you supposed to teach kids how to paint?"

"I'm…" Even sighs. He needs to stop feeling like he's fifteen all over again. This is Sonja's weird humour. She probably doesn't mean it in a mean way. "I'm dropping Mutta's computer off."

"Ah, I see. Give it to me."

Even doesn't have time to move, she's already taking the computer away from him. "I will crash his meeting and give it to him in a sec," she says. And then, "oh, I almost forgot! Congratulations!"

Even blinks once. Twice. "What?"

"Isak and you, silly! I saw the pictures of your little cabin trip! I'm happy you two are back together. It was time you did something to get him back. I couldn't believe it when you two broke up. What a shame! You were so good together. But at least it's all well now."

Fuck. Even doesn't know what being stabbed in the heart feels like, but chances are, it feels a bit like what he's experiencing at the moment. 

_ It was time you did something to get him back. _

It's something that has been haunting him, actually. When they broke up, it felt like the best and most mature decision for the both of them. Still, as the months went by and Even couldn't forget him, couldn't move on, he started to wonder if he should have fought for Isak, the same way Isak fought for him years ago. Did they give up too easily?

By the time Even felt like he needed to talk to Isak about it though, it was too late. Isak has moved on and Even couldn't blame him. It took him months to wake up and realize Isak deserves someone who would fight for him. Isak's new boyfriend probably fought for him, far better than he did.

Maybe Even wasn't the right person for him. He failed to be.

"I'm actually very glad we ran into each other," Sonja pulls him out of his dark thoughts. "Tomas and I are giving a party next week-end. You know, to celebrate the baby coming out soon and all. You and Isak are invited."

"What?" Even repeats again. But instead of using his last braincells to finally tell Sonja she's wrong, Isak and him aren't a thing, he asks, "Like a baby shower?"

She snorts. "You can call it like that if you want. But it won't be a bunch of girls talking about baby clothes, no thank you. This is probably my last party before Tomas and I officially become parents, I want to have fun. You're free to bring gifts though. Mutta and her new girlfriend are coming too."

Now would be the perfect time to tell her. There is no "Isak and Even". Even can't show up at her not baby shower with Isak as his date. It won't happen, ever. Because they aren't back together. Even didn't do anything to get him back.

And yet, his next words are, "okay, sure, I will tell Isak. Next week-end, you said?"

Sonja smiles, and it looks kind and genuine, like she's pleased by his answer. "Saturday. Ask Mutta for the details. I gotta go, he needs his computer sooner than later. Have a good day, Even! See you soon. Tell Isak I said hi and I can't wait to see him again."

Then she's off, and Even watches her leave, speechless.

_ What the hell did he just do?! _


	46. Chapter 46




	47. Chapter 47




	48. Chapter 48




	49. Chapter 49




	50. Chapter 50




	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Surprise! Here's the fake dating I promised in the tags. What do you think?


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. Sorry for the upcoming angst, too. But no worries, I won't leave you mid-angst, I made sure to write enough updates so you can read everything in one go and be left on a (veryyy) positive moment. Yes, it's time to fix it all ;)
> 
> Enjoy!


	53. Chapter 53




	54. Chapter 54




	55. Chapter 55

Even isn't fine. He's everything but fine.

They arrived late at the party despite Even's warning, because Isak made a whole fuss about his shirt even after Even showed up at Eskild's place. He's never been one to care too much about his outfit so Even doesn't understand what's up with him, but he remained patient, and only died a little inside as Isak walked around the apartment shirtless until Even picked something for him. 

"Oh, it's perfect. Thank you, Even," Isak smiled at him and Even was mere seconds from cancelling the plan. He couldn't do it.

He had to, though. Eventually, they left Eskild's place and headed to Sonja's house no matter how badly Even was starting to regret his decision.

Even doesn't even remember why he was so worried about what Sonja would think, of having to prove her Isak and him were really a thing all over again. He's been ridiculous. 

Sonja didn't ask any questions about them getting back together. Tomas, her husband, and her, welcomed them warmly and did small talk, almost like it was a normal thing, the four of them together. After a while, they offered them drinks and then excused themselves to go entertain their other guests.

When Sonja left, she gave Even a private smile, then glanced at Isak, and said, "it's really nice to see you two together again."

And that was it.

But for Even, it was only the beginning of the torture. Because if Sonja was too busy to pay attention to them, it wasn't true of her guests, too many of them Even knew, he quickly realized. Many of them were old high school classmates of his. And soon, fake dating to fool Sonja turned into fake dating to fool a whole crowd of people Even couldn't care less about. They were stuck though, they couldn't turn back anymore.

"Wow, so you two are high school sweethearts!" A girl Even couldn't remember the name of minutes ago exclaims after Isak told her they met back at Nissen.

"I guess so," Isak chuckles, and then proceeds to lean against Even, his hand wrapping tightly around Even's bicep, and-

Even is dying. 

Throughout the years they've dated, Even has always been the social butterfly in their relationship. But tonight, Even can barely focus long enough to hold a short conversation. Isak, on the other hand, is a changed man. He's confident. He smiles and laughs and pretends to have a nice time with these strangers all while his hands won't stop touching  _ him _ . 

The way he would if they were dating still.

But it's fake. It's all fake. Even has to constantly remind himself of it. He has to when Isak throws his face backwards as he giggles, looking absolutely beautiful - the light of the party. He has to when Isak takes a sip of his beer, and licks his lips slowly, the whole thing playing in front of Even's eyes like some kind of erotic slowmotion movie. And he has to, again, when they move around the living-room and Isak slips a hand into the back pocket of Even's pants.

Isak is good at faking. Far too good at it.

And it breaks Even's heart too. Because him, can't pretend. He can't pretend when all he wants is for them together to be real. 

From the other side of the room, he can feel Mutasim's and Noora's eyes on them, on him, both disapproving and alarmed. Even makes sure to avoid them. They were right; it was a terrible idea. But Even doesn't need them to tell him. The pain squeezing his heart is enough.

"Baby?" 

Even jolts awake, his mind having drifted away once again. 

"You're alright, love?" Isak asks, his fingers brushing against Even's cheek, so tender, so gentle, Even feels like crying.

"Huh. Yeah," he whispers.

This is for the show. They are sitting with other people, and although they seem to be engrossed in their own conversation, they can still hear Isak calling Even pet names, still see him touching him like a lover would. It's part of their act. It isn't real. Isak doesn't mean any of it.

Even wishes his heart could take the memo though. He wishes it would stop beating so fast at the words "baby" and "love". At Isak's fingers on his skin.

"I'm getting myself another beer. Do you want something?" Isak asks, seemingly blind to Even's inner turmoil. 

Once upon a time, Isak would have felt it. He would have known something was wrong. But apparently, he doesn't anymore.

"Same as you," Even manages to mutter.

Isak squeezes his shoulder lightly, and it makes Even turn his head to look at him. A reflex. 

A mistake.

Because now face to face with him, Isak leans and presses his lips against his. Isak kisses him. Right on the mouth.

A peck. A simple peck. But Even knows he's screwed for good.

Isak pulls back, doesn't look the least upset about it. He's perfectly unfazed, at the exception of the blinding smile he gives Even before walking away.

And Even… He feels heartbroken, sure. But he's starting to feel angry, too. Because why did Isak need to kiss him? He didn't have to go so far. 

He didn't need to steal the remaining pieces of Even's heart, right there and then, in the middle of Sonja's living-room. All for a fucking act. 

All for nothing.


	56. Chapter 56




	57. Chapter 57




	58. Chapter 58

They leave the party early.

Isak is done touching him and calling him sweet names, and thankfully haven't tried to kiss him again, but it probably has something to do with Even's cold demeanor, the way he flinched and pulled back when Isak came back with their beers and tried to slip a hand on his thigh. It isn't fun anymore. Even isn't sure it's been fun at any point, but it sure isn't anymore.

Soon, Even's tense "it's more than enough, let's go home" put a stop to their night; not a suggestion, not a request, but a firm decision. 

Isak orders an uber, and insists on dropping him off first, and he's too hurt to protest. It doesn't matter if Eskild's place is closer, he just wants the night to be over, and Isak to be as far away from his sight as possible.

The ride feels never-ending in the silence of the car, at the exception of the music coming out of the driver's radio. It doesn't help breaking the tension growing between them though. They haven't looked at each other in the eye since they kissed - Even made sure of it. The truth is, he feels so betrayed, so fooled, he can't stand the idea of meeting Isak's beautiful green irises, the same that used to bring him so much comfort, instead of ripping his chest open like it does now.

How dare he come back to Oslo to break his heart all over again?

"Did something happen?" Isak asks all of sudden, and Even is so stunned by his oblivious question he can't help but scoff bitterly.

"Are you serious?!"

"What? What did I do?"

Even wants to scream. He wants to tell the driver to stop and just leave him on the sidewalk. He can walk all the way home, at this point he doesn't care anymore.

Instead, he decides it's time to stand up for himself. If he's never going to see Isak again, he might as well get everything off his chest now. 

"You know, you used to be the worst actor ever," Even says, his voice hard, but at least it's not shaking. It's clear he's angry, it's clear he's upset, but he finds the smallest pride in the fact he doesn't sound so weak and heartbroken.  _ Yet _ . "That's some great skills you got yourself."

Even shifts his body so he can face Isak as much as their respective positions allow it, watching his reaction carefully.

Isak looks taken aback, mouth slightly ajar. His eyes are studying Even's face, perhaps trying to figure out what's on his mind. Too bad Isak can't do that anymore, can't read him like he used to.

Past Isak, who used to love and care for him, would have known right away. But past Isak is gone.

"I thought the plan was to pretend to…"

"You didn't have to actually kiss me," Even cuts him off.

For long, torturing seconds, Isak is silent. Maybe he's finally connecting the dots. Maybe he's about to see right through Even and figure out why it bothers him so much. Maybe he's going to realize Even didn't move on, didn't stop loving him, not even for a second. 

For years, he's been wearing a bandaid on his feelings, but the wound never healed, barely stopped bleeding; until Isak came back and ripped the bandage off, exposing his vivid feelings all over again.

He doesn't. "It was no big deal," Isak mutters eventually, looking away from Even and out of the window. Turning his back on him. 

As if Even's open wound is nothing to him.

_ It was no big deal _ .

Maybe it's his own fault for getting his hopes up, for giving Isak the power to dismiss him, but he can't help it, he thought he could trust him to treat his heart gently still.

"Stop. Stop right here," Even hears himself ask the driver.

"Are you sure? It's right around the corner."

"Yes. Stop."

The car is barely at a halt when he opens the door and gets out, wasting no time to walk away as fast as possible. Even doesn't breathe, doesn't think, not until he's standing in front of his apartment's building. His hands are shaking as he tries to find his key. He curses to himself, curses to Isak, curses to life and the universe for tearing them apart.

But then, hands are grabbing him, forcing him to turn around. He sees a flash of golden curls and familiar emeraude eyes, right before Isak wraps an arm around his body and cups his jaw to close the distance between their faces, crashing their lips together in a hungry and messy kiss that has nothing to do with the featherlight brush of their previous embrace, and yet, and yet-

And yet, these are Isak's lips against his own, soft and pliant and perfect for him - always have been.

"This," Isak whispers, letting them catch their breath for a second, but not more, before diving in again. Isak's body is warm and solid, pressing Even against the large door of the building, and they are fully making out on the street now, but he couldn't care less about the rest of the world.

"What?" Even mutters.

"This," Isak repeats. "This is a big deal. This is real."

_ This is real _ .

He knew. How did Even think of doubting him? Of course he knew.

"I'm sorry," Isak adds, but Even doesn't care anymore. It doesn't matter. 

Isak can't stop talking though. "I missed you so much. I'm sorry."

One moment, they are gripping each other tightly, bruised lips kissing restlessly as if they would die if they stopped; and the other, they are climbing stars in a hurry, stumbling as they won't separate, won't stop breathing and licking into each other's mouth. How they make it to his apartment without falling is a mystery.

They make a beeline for Even's bedroom, locking themselves inside and crashing into each other again, ripping their clothes off, until the back of Even's legs hit his bed and he loses his balance, has to sit on the edge.

They pause, for the first time since Isak ran after him and kissed him like he wanted him to, like he meant it, like it was the only real thing he knew how to do.

They stare at each other, breathless. Isak looks like the most beautiful mess Even has never seen, half-naked, his hair dishevelled, eyes dark from lust, cheeks and chest flushed.

It's a different kind of tension hanging between them than in the cab. The kind Even isn't unhappy about. The kind he's been craving for years, actually.

Isak takes a step towards Even, so he's standing between Even's legs. Instinctively, Even's hands settle on his waist, thumbs drawing circles on his flesh to soothe him. It's such a contrast, how unsure, almost shy, Isak appears to be all of sudden. He huffs. "This so stupid. Why am I nervous?"

Even smiles bashfully. For some reason, he feels relief washes over his body. "I'm nervous too," he admits.

They look at each other and chuckle. Maybe they are still them.

Even's hand leaves Isak's body but only so he can take his hand, squeezing it gently, and then pulling, inviting him to join him. They both shuffle so they can meet on his bed, lying down next to each other, limbs entangled, bodies touching in as many ways as possible, noses brushing. 

Even is carding fingers through Isak's hair when he murmurs, "hi, baby."

_ Welcome back. _

Isak makes a choked out sound before leaning over him and kissing him, hard and demanding and urgent all over again. They move together, pick it up where they stopped earlier, and it's easy. Even can't believe how easy it is, how familiar, like the last years didn't happen.

They are still them. 


	59. Chapter 59




	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Long time no see? (A month, I guess. Sorry about that)
> 
> I really wanted the next time I update to be the one where I can complete this AU, but it's a slow process, so I figured I could give you a few updates in the meantime. My goal is to finish it in the next few days though. Who knows! Maybe I will actually stick to my plan. 
> 
> Thank you for your patience. ❤️

Even's body is awake before his mind is. 

The mattress under his body is familiar, the pillow he hurried his face into, too. But the other breathing in the bedroom isn't, and the same goes for the warm body lying next to him, naked skin brushing against his elbow when he stirs slightly.

Even gave up on dating a while ago, but he does have a one-night-stand from time to time, when Eskild's nagging is convincing enough to drag him at one of his favorite bars to party. He never spends the night at their place through, and above all, never brings them back home. So the body lying next to him is uncommon.

He opens his eyes. Meets green, sleepy and yet sparking eyes.

For a fleeting second, Even is 19 all over again, waking up at the Kollektivet, albeit in a different room, and he does so to the sight of Isak, his boyfriend. 

It's new and it's fragile. But it's tender and it's strong enough to carry the promise of a future together.

They did get the future 19 years old Even wished for back then. Not forever, but they got something beautiful for a while.

Even isn't 19 anymore. He's 27, and he lost Isak along the way. Still, it's the same body, heart and soul lying beside him, so maybe they can still have the forever kind of future Even once dreamed of after all. It's too early to say - probably. 

But despite everything, Even has always carried hope in his heart when it comes to Isak.

"Good morning," Isak whispers, voice raw, sending shivers down Even's spin.

_ I missed this. I missed you. _

"Morning." 

Even wants to reach out and touch, to brush the wild curls from Isak's forehead, run his fingers along the side of his jaw, feel the light stubble there. It's a little bit ridiculous he's feeling too shy to do so after the night they spent together. Thankfully, Isak doesn't have the same issue.

His hand finds Even's under the pillow, and he links their fingers together. They smile shyly at each other, because Isak knows what's on Even's mind, and Isak knows that Even knows, too.

"How long have you been awake?"

Isak shrugs. "I don't know. A little while. I was too busy looking at you sleeping to notice though."

_ My baby. _

"Creep," Even says instead, so gently it sounds like a pet name anyway. Then leans over Isak and presses their lips together, a featherlight touch, a reminder that no matter what they might have lost along the way, the tenderness they harbor for each other isn't one of them.

They shift under the sheets, close the distance between them, legs tangled all over again. Even wraps an arm around Isak's middle and Isak lets him drag him over him; and they kiss, kiss, kiss, endlessly. 

Maybe that's the kind of intimacy Even has missed the most. Back then, they could kiss for hours without looking for anything else, anything more. It felt like everything. And if life wasn't what it is, if their lips didn't bruise, too, chances are they would have done it for days without getting bored of it.

They fall back into old habits easily. They kiss, Isak's hand gripping Even's hair at the back of his neck tightly, Even's thumb tracing the curve of Isak's eyebrow, of his jawline, of his chin.

Even loses track of time.

But Isak doesn't.

All of sudden, he interrupts their kiss, and a little breathless, pulls back to ask, "Shit. What time is it?" Even shrugs. "Can you check the time?"

He frowns, wants to ask what's so important right now, but moves anyway, reaches for his forgotten jacket and finds his phone.

He checks the time. "11:21," he grins. Of course.

But Isak doesn't comment on it like Even expected him to. 

"Fuck!" He mumbles instead, and hurries out of bed. "I'm supposed to meet my parents for lunch. I need to stop by Eskild's on my way, I can't show up in yesterday's clothes and… unshowered."

"I guess not," Even comments mindlessly. He knows Isak meeting his parents for lunch isn't something he can be mad at him about. Still, he wishes they could have enjoyed their first peaceful morning together a bit longer.

"I'm sorry," Isak stops halfway through putting his clothes on, looking up at Even and biting his lips worryingly. 

"It's okay. Maybe we can meet later."

"We definitely will," Isak nods, buttoning his shirt before crawling on the bed again, over Even's body, cradling his face softly for another kiss. "I would suggest you come with me and be my fake boyfriend, but my mom picks up on my lies miles away. You know her."

_ Oh. _

"I'm messaging you as soon as I'm done, okay?" 

"Alright."

Isak smiles, kisses him one last time before waving at him and leaving his room.

After that, Even's bed has never felt so cold.


	61. Chapter 61




	62. Chapter 62




	63. Chapter 63




	64. Chapter 64




	65. Chapter 65




	66. Chapter 66




	67. Chapter 67

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you soon. ❤️


	68. Chapter 68




	69. Chapter 69




	70. Chapter 70




	71. Chapter 71




	72. Chapter 72




	73. Chapter 73

_**A couple of weeks later.** _

It's a peaceful morning.

Even lingers in bed, which doesn't happen very often, but he woke to Isak sneaking out of the bedroom, and soon, the Kolletktivet was filled with the noise of Isak's attempt to make breakfast.

It used to be Even's speciality, breakfast brought in bed; the smell of food, and a few kisses, pulling Isak out of his dreams. But things changed, albeit sparsely, and Even is curious to see what his boyfriend -  _ boyfriend _ , all over again, he feels high from the mere thought of it - is up to.

He stirs, shivers when his arms leave the warmth of the covers. Reluctantly, he makes a beeline for his closet, looking for a hoodie to keep him warm until Isak is back in his arms.

No such luck. Isak has been stealing his clothes lately, especially anything thick and comfortable, like his hoodies, and he must have taken the last piece from his closet. But Even isn't mad about it. Not even a little bit.

Instead, he knees in front of Isak's suitcase. The past couple of weeks, Isak has spent less and less time at Eskild's, until he basically moved into Even's bedroom, hence the presence of his few belongings on the floor. Surely, if Isak stole his clothes, they must be something left in his suitcase.

Even rummages through it, but stops after barely seconds of exploration. 

There is something under his fingers, and it's not something he's personally familiar with, but it's something he's seen more than enough in movies to guess what it is right away. And once he's pulled it back from the suitcase, there is no doubt possible.

It's a ring box. 

He opens it before the rational part of his brain has time to tell him to drop it. He opens it because his heart craves it, his soul longs for it. Because: what if it's for him? What if Isak has been hiding a ring he's planning to give to Even? 

After all, it's the only rational explanation. Right?

It's not.

One second, Even's heart is full; the next, once his eyes catch the initials on the side of the golden ring, it shatters in pieces.

It says:  _ I & J _

And not:  _ I & E _

This time, Even drops the ring box. 

Somewhere in the apartment, Isak started playing some music and singing softly. He's making breakfast for them, for Even, after he spent the night with him, in his bed, loving him.

And yet. And yet, Isak belongs to someone else.

So Even gets up and leaves. Forgets the hoodie, grabs his shoes instead, and his coat, and he leaves, still in his pyjamas.

What else is there to do, when the love of your life isn't yours?


	74. Chapter 74




	75. Chapter 75




	76. Chapter 76




	77. Chapter 77




	78. Chapter 78




	79. Chapter 79




	80. Chapter 80

Isak is waiting for him on top of the stairs of his building, in front of the Kolletktivet's front door. They look at each other in silence, and it's a little bit ridiculous, how none of them dares to close the distance. Their morning has been so hectic, so dramatic, it's like they don't know how to make it normal again.

They can try though. Isak does.

"I took the ring by mistake," he blurts out, and his eyes go wide when he realizes it probably wasn't what he should have started with, but instead of freaking out, this time, Even snorts. It seems to appease Isak, at least. "I mean…" He huffs, shifts awkwardly on his two feet. "Jakob proposed, out of nowhere. Or maybe not. Maybe it made sense for him. But for me…"

Even moves, finally. Climbs each step slowly, his eyes set on Isak and never leaving him.

"I told Jakob I couldn't marry him but he left the ring in my stuff on purpose when I packed, so I would consider his offer again. He was convinced I was scared, that I would come back to him eventually. Because, remember what I said? He always gets what he wants. And our relationship has always been hot and cold, with me doubting and then giving in in the end. The ring ended up in my suitcase when I flyed to Oslo but for me, it was truly over. I told Jakob a hundred times. It was over. I had no doubt about it. Because…"

Isak pauses when Even steps in front of him, their bodies almost touching. Gently, he takes Isak's hands in his, and they both exhale.

"Because," Isak resumes speaking. His voice is shaky, his eyes blurry with unshed tears. Even leans and brushes their noses together, to comfort him. "Because," he repeats, sounding more determined this time. Their eyes are locked together. "When Jakob proposed, all I could think about is how wrong it felt." Even nods. Waits. Squeezes their joined hands. "How it should have been you asking me to marry you, or should have been me asking you."  _ Oh _ . "So I decided to come home. Home to you."

Even kisses him.

He lets go of Isak's hands, but only so he can cup his head and coaxes his mouth open with his tongue. 

Isak tastes like forever, like vulnerable truth and tears of relief. 

"You're home," Even whispers. Agrees with him. And he kisses him hard, with his whole body and soul and heart. "I love you. Always did." Isak murmurs, something like reciprocity, but Even isn't done. "And I always will. No matter what, we need to be together."

"We do," Isak breathes out against his lips, his hands tangled in his hair and keeping him pressed against him, making sure there is no space left between them.

"And we will, someday, you know?"

"What?"

Even smiles. And so does Isak. 

"Maybe it will be me, maybe it will be you. But no matter what, it will be us." Even moves the slightest bit, to grab Isak's hand again, to bring his ring finger to his lips and kiss it. "I will put a ring on it someday."

Isak laughs. Isak cries. Isak nods, again and again. He sings, too, teasing him with the worldwide famous lyrics.

But most importantly, he kisses Even and says, "I will, too. Just wait for it."

And Even believes him. And he can't wait for it.


	81. Chapter 81

**EPILOGUE**


	82. Chapter 82

**EPILOGUE**


	83. Chapter 83

**EPILOGUE**


	84. Chapter 84

**EPILOGUE**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!
> 
> Wow, not gonna lie, at some point I thought I would never finish it. But I'm so glad I did, for myself and for you who's been extra patient and supportive with me, through this AU as well as the previous ones. Thank you so much. Especially since it's my last SKAM social media AU. Actually, after I'm done with the last chapter of my caregiver!Even [fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27615886/chapters/67562233), there will be no more piece of writing from me for this fandom. I mean, who knows, right? Maybe I will miss my boys. But for now, I'm not planning to write anything more. So let me tell you it's been a huge pleasure to write for you. I got so much from it. I met incredible people who became my friends. I received more love than I deserved. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything. ❤️
> 
> If you wanna keep in touch, I guess you can find me [here](https://twitter.com/etannetsted).
> 
> I hope you had fun with this AU despite how chaotic I've been with it. In any case, take care of yourself! Lots of love xx


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